Stolen from

0. Name? Astian
1. Time of starting? 6.28pm
2. Were you named after anyone? No.
3. Ever wish on stars? On occasion. I love the night sky.
4. When did you last cry? I don't remember, honestly. Probably awhile ago, over Peter.
5. Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes.
6. What is your favourite meat? Lamb is good.
7. What is the most embarrassing CD on your shelf? If I wasn't gay, I'd say Kylie
8. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Don't know. Maybe. I can be opinionated and judgemental though.
9. Are you a daredevil? No way.
10. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Nope.
11. How do you release anger? I don't. I let it build up.
12. Where is your second home? Jess' place.
13. Do you trust others easily? Not really, no.
14. What was your favourite toy as a child? My sister's Barbie Dolls, but only because there was a dog kennel next door and I'd throw them over the fence, or into the tree.
15. What class in school do you think is totally useless? Maths. Period.
16. Do you use sarcasm a lot? On occasion.
17. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Fuck no.
18. What do you look for in a guy/girl? Personality. But looks wise I like defined, tanned, blue/green eyes... I am also a sucker for big hair, like afros... and I love snail trails but only when then are thick in density and thin in width.
9. Would you do a bungee jump? Would my head pop?
20. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No.
21. What's your favourite ice cream flavour? Choc-chip, butterscotch or caramel.
22. What are your favourite colour(s)? Eden Green, Azure Blue
23. What is your least favourite thing to eat? Fish from a fish and chip shop.
24. How many people do u have a crush on right now? One.
25. What do you miss most right now? Hrm.. I wonder?
26. What colour underwear are you wearing? Blue.
27. What are you listening to right now ? Crickets. (No, seriously!)
28. If you were a crayon, what colour? Funky green!
30. Last person you talked to on the phone? Shashtra!
31. The first thing you notice about the same sex? Eyes, snail trail (when they have their shirts off, or stretch)
32. Do you like the person who sent you this? She didn't send it to me, I stole it. Does she like me?
33. Would you lick someone's arse for five bucks? Despite being gay, no way. That's just gross!
34. Favourite drink? Iced Green Tea with lemon
35. Favourite alcoholic drink? Lemon/Lime + Vodka
36. Natural hair colour? Brown
37. Eye colour? Hazel green
38. Wear contacts? No.
39. Siblings? Yougner sister.
40. Favourite month? August
41. Favourite food? Mangoes, sushi.
42. Last movie you watched? Ghost in the Shell II - Innocence
43. Favourite day of the year? Christmas!
44. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out? Yes. Not anymore, though.
45. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy ending.
46. Summer or Winter? Both.
47. Hugs or kisses? Both in moderation.
48. Do you want your friends to write back? Friends? What are they?
49. Who is most likely to respond? I don't know what a friend is.
50. Who is least likely to respond? For FUCKS SAKE! Read ABOVE!
51. What book/magazine are you reading? Nothing.
52. What's on your mouse pad? Infra-red mouse = no mousepad.
53. What did you watch on TV last night? Don't watch TV

So to my understanding I need to write twenty things about myself and then tag six people? Not that I know of six people to tag that read this thing, but anyway, here it goes.

1) I work as an office-all rounder in a Proffesional Developmet/Business Training consultency firm in Stones Corner. Thus I deal with a lot of the big wigs of Queendland government sectors.
2) I tell some people that my position is a PA because primarily that is what I am doing at the moment
3) Contrary to the popular belief of society and the inert urge to hate ones own job, I love mine
4) I love snail trails and if a guy stretches and skin is revealed (the guy must be hot), I'll always look to see if he has one.
5) Majority of the music I listen to when online is game music
6) I listen to normal music when travelling to and from work
7) I am a very proactive person and I hate laziness
8) I love my sleep and hate people that disrupt it
9) I exercise regular sleeping patterns so that I have at least eight hours sleep every night else I am an irritable bitch in the morning
10) Despite being gay, I am not a whore/slut, I don't do drugs and I don't like the scene what-so-ever
11) I dislike people being near me and doing things where I can see out of the corner of my eye when I am trying to concentrate
12) I love, yet hate summer
13) I have UK heritage
14) I am a complete romanticist
15) I am one of the kindest people you could possibly meet only IF you appeal to me intellectually or physically. Else you mean nothing to me.
16) I am very judgemental
17) When it comes to looking for a boyfriend, I am very picky which limits my options
18) I dislike piercings, tattoos or anything of the kind that alters the body permenantly
19) I can be very materialistic in that I only buy things brand new, and I only wear brand labelled clothing and I always wear cologne (I feel naked without it)
20) I was bullied a lot in junior Highschool and primary school, which caused me to pull upon a somewhat narsissistic nature in order to get through the day to day tribulations of life. This is not displayed to friends, however.

I tag:

Shashtra
Trent
Matthew
Rosalin
David
Anthony

So yet another year of my life passes pretty much uneventfully, as was to be expected. The trip down to Port Macquarie was long and ardous and one that I do not wish to ever have to do again (not by train anyway). It was nice to see my mother and sister again, and kind of a shock to sit in a car while my sister drove. Yeah, I need my licence, I know so shut up.

I spent six days down there in terrible wind swept and rain soaked weather. Nice holiday it was, just my luck. I hadn't realised how boring Port Macquarie actually was until I had returned there only to spend most of the days at home, perhaps one or two in the actual CBD which only lasted an hour or so as the boredom hit.

I did go for a few nice walks along Shelly Beach and up around to Lighthouse via Miner's, which I must confess is not a good idea (not unless you like seeing nude bathers of course, which I would have rathered have not viewed at all thank you very much!). It was also spent in retrospectation, hoping for perhaps some closure to a chapter in my life that I have never really been able to conclude. Perhaps in time I can finish what I have written, and the chapter won't end on a cliff hanger. It will be like the conclusion to a book, all suspense wound up to a single point when the final ultimatum is delivered and a realisation comes that after all that, what was the point. I did manage to sort a few things out, and I guess time will be the only thing to rid me of the demons. A friend of mine keeps telling me to forget and move on, and I think it is this fact that is holding me back, yet it's human nature to always consider the alternate options. The 'what ifs' of any past situation. What if it had turned down a different track? Would I be who I am today?

I just feel that a lot of things I have done previously have been things done in modesty. I am not a bold one, as many people would most likely know. Nor am I one to initiate things and take risks. But I should take advice from one of my idols, if you could call her that, Gwen Stefani.

What Are You Waiting For?
What Am I Waiting For?

Perhaps I should just take that blind leap and make those risks, because the rewards in the end could be more than beneficial to myself, could they not?

Oh yeah, I have to check my lottery pools tomorrow. Perhaps I have won? Unlikely.